Finding Peace and Love Amidst Anxiety: My Journey to Self-Talk Empowerment

Because anxiety seems to be taking over our planet, I am choosing this as my first-ever blog post topic. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America states, “Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults (19.1% of the population) in ages 18 and older.” This is only in America! Think about the numbers WORLDWIDE! There are hundreds of statistics like this all over the internet; Google would love to share if you want more data. But that is not why I am here. We don’t need Google to show us the numbers. We need human beings who have lived and breathed various treatments, both medical and holistic, to show us how to live—live with more peace, more love. How does that sound? Impossible? You won’t regret it if you keep reading . . .

How do we achieve the ideal of living a contented, confident life in a world that is so full of UGLINESS—hatred, war, greed, and fear? More peace? More love? It starts with YOU, and it starts with ME. We must look internally. What would you say if I told you that you’re equipped with many tools that you can access ANYTIME to enable you to treat your anxiety? Yes, you can access these tools anytime. It costs you only your time and some effort. As with anything you are starting to learn, the process of changing your mindset will take more effort in the beginning. It will gradually become second nature.

Please Note: I am in no way saying you should/should not take medication for anxiety or should/should not see a licensed therapist. That decision is between you and your medical advisor (for example, physician, DO, PA or NP). If you feel you need to seek medical care, please do so asap.

There are a few behavioral strategies to treat anxiety, but the one I’ll touch on today is SELF-TALK. You may or may not have heard this term before. Basically, it’s the way we talk to ourselves. It is what we tell ourselves, in our mind/brain. Before it was brought to my attention when I was in my 40s, I didn’t even know this was a “thing.” I had little to no awareness of my thoughts, or that my thoughts mattered, or that I was even having thoughts. I know I had thoughts about others, you know, the thoughts where I had to be sure my filter was in place . . . but the idea that I was actually talking to myself, about myself, was completely foreign to me. When I was asked, “How do you talk to yourself?” I paused for a few minutes, really letting it sink in. And then it hit me. I cried and I cried hard. WOW! What an eye opener.

Once I began to become more and more aware of how I was talking to myself, in the moment, I noticed more about how my body was feeling while I was saying those things, or vice versa. For example, I might have had a really tough “walking day.” (Even while losing mobility, I would have self-proclaimed GOOD or BAD walking days; days where more or less effort/focus was required to just move.) I would pause and think, “How am I talking to myself today, at this moment?” Almost every single time, I had been saying things like: “You can’t even walk, why did you even show up to work today? What’s the point? This isn’t living. You can’t even walk 15 steps to the bathroom and back, how are you going to get through this day?” I would never say those things to another human being, so why did I say them to myself?

You may be thinking, okay this is a great piece of information, but how does it apply to anxiety? General Anxiety Disorder is characterized as persistent and excessive worry about any number of things and having trouble controlling the worry. About halfway through my 12.5-year journey of losing mobility and finding it again, I told Dee, my yoga therapist, that I had been verbally, emotionally, and mentally beaten down to nothing in my previous marriage. I had little to no confidence and was absolutely playing the victim, without even realizing it. She lovingly responded with, “Yes, but you allowed that to happen.” Whoa. She did NOT just put the blame on me?! I was pissed. But only for a minute. Because as it set in, I felt the most powerful shift inside when I realized, yes. Yes, I did allow anxiety to control me and my reactions. After facing the facts, I realized I had had control all along. I learned that I can control how much I worry. I can learn to relax. I can feel more confident. Talk about feeling EMPOWERED!

Listen, it’s so simple. But it does take work. Here’s what you do.

Step #1. As soon as you realize you are talking negatively to yourself, make a shift. Turn the negative statement into something positive. A mantra of sorts. For example, I might say, “I move with ease.” or “I am in control of my body.” or “I am confident” or “I am safe.” Whatever resonates with you. If it feels right, say that. It is essential that you remove any negative words such as can’t, no, not, don’t, etc. Your words should be positive and speak to you. Now, remember earlier when I said it’ll take some effort in the beginning? This is where that applies. It may not necessarily feel right, right away. It may take some time to believe it yourself. Fake it til you make it, so they say. Just keep doing it.

Step #2. Repeat it to yourself over and over throughout the day. Eventually, it will feel right.

And when it feels right, it feels GOOD. And when you feel good, you’ll have more peace. And when you feel peace, you’re able to share more love. And when you share more love, the world becomes a better place.

Want some guidance on a mantra? Do you feel this helped you? Do you have questions or comments about this article? Please comment below or email me at kristin@untangledrootscoach.com.

Have a happy day! So much love to you all.